Purple food caught my attention recently for a story I am
writing when I was building a scene, so I did some research. Did you know there are sixteen common plant foods that are naturally called purple? Surprised me.
I had never heard of purple asparagus or purple carrots. Of
course, I would never eat asparagus, so that’s no surprise, but I do enjoy raw carrots
and would probably try out the purple variety if given the opportunity.
"Blue" berries are purple? Who knew? |
You're probably wondering about all this talk of purple food. How does it relate to writing?
Color. This blog is about what I call “color-words.” Not "color" as in color charts, rather, the expression “color-words” refers to single words or expressions that convey instant images, emotions or actions. They color the story. As we know, writers use words to paint scenes and stimulate emotional responses in readers. How do we, writers, maximize the power of such words? Consider the following scene…
Lisa parked her car and entered my apartment without knocking. I looked at her, surprised that she would assume such familiarity after I ended our relationship last night. She walked toward me with a mechanical gait and a blank stare. Her hand, hidden behind her back, worried me. As I stood up, she pulled a black, nine-millimeter handgun from behind her and raised it. I ran down the hall toward my bedroom weaving to be a difficult target. I saw small chalk explosions with each bullet impact in the sheetrock near me. My bedroom window shattered as my palm slammed into it, but before I could climb out, she called me a bastard and pulled the trigger. The gun clicked. It was out of ammo.
note: 26 pronouns and first-person, possessive adjectives in
the scene. 125 words
What would happen if we put “color-words” (those creating an
instant mental image, emotion or action) as the first words the reader
experiences in some or most of the sentences?
Lisa parked her car and entered my apartment without
knocking. Surprise brought me to my feet. Relationship talks in the last week ended
just last night in a permanent split. Mechanical strides, a blank stare and one
hand hidden behind her back gave ample warning. Sinister black lines of a nine-millimeter
handgun suddenly rose toward me. I ran. Weaving down the hall toward the bedroom,
small chalk explosions traced my erratic trail as bullets impacted sheetrock. My
palm shattered the bedroom window, but before I could climb out, she called me
a bastard and pulled the trigger. Click. The gun was out of bullets.
note: only 12 pronouns and first-person, possessive adjectives in
the scene. 104 words
The second version of the same scene generates more imagery,
higher tension and greater relief in the end with fewer words. It accomplishes this reader
impact by employing “color-words” to lead off most sentences. Compare the
first word of each sentence in the paragraphs.
Paragraph 1: Lisa, I, She, Her,
As, I, I, My, The, It. (Pretty boring, huh?)
Paragraph 2: Lisa, Surprise, Relationship, Mechanical, Sinister, Weaving, My, Click, The. (Much better, and fewer words.)
Paragraph 2: Lisa, Surprise, Relationship, Mechanical, Sinister, Weaving, My, Click, The. (Much better, and fewer words.)
Remember the term, "Color-words" |
Create impact by opening sentences with color-words whenever possible. Sure, I overdid it in the
second example above to make a point, but, just as one might add visual appeal to a
meal by using purple lettuce or purple potatoes, do the same in writing by positioning those color-words for strong effect. Start the reader with an image, action or emotion in most paragraphs or
sentences. From the first word, the goal is to build excitement,
anticipation and connection with the reader.
Make those first words count!