In writing, setting a scene properly can build powerful
images in the minds of readers. However, unnecessary details can bore them to
tears, and inadequate scene description can strip the angst out of a passage.
Ask yourself, "How would Helen Keller describe this homemade candle?" Maybe, writers should close our eyes and draw descriptions from senses other than vision.
Consider this jungle scene in a war story:
Temperatures climbed. Thick green vines hung from drooping
trees, creating a sun-tight canopy above a lush layer of ferns. It was so thick
even jungle creatures stayed to a few well-worn game trails. Tree leeches, thriving
in the perpetually wet humidity, dropped on any warm-blooded mammals
unfortunate enough to travel below. Decaying mulch ran deep, often sucking a
man's leg up to the knee as he attempted to slog silently in pursuit of nearby
enemy soldiers. Thank God for the safety of smokeless flames from the Sterno
cans we packed to heat food and purify water.
Does this scene provide a vivid image? Yes, but does it
provide the right imagery for the story?
Here's another example of the same scene:
Sweat dripped from the tip of my nose. I brushed squirming
tree-leeches off my camo sleeve before leaning to one side, pulling my foot
from knee-deep, rotting muck. In the low light of the heavy canopy above, I
lost track of our game trail, the only way we could advance through thick ferns.
Sounds of enemy soldiers carried through dense vegetation, making me thankful
for smokeless flames from our Sterno as we heated food and purified water.
Notice both scenes provide vivid imagery. The first scene with
96 words concentrates on the visual image of the setting, while the second
scene with only 77 words focuses on the consequences of the setting, thereby
adding to tension.
How do writers determine the right detail to use in a
setting? Those decisions can make the difference between a lackluster story and
a page-turner. Writing would be easy if all readers brought the same
expectations and life experiences to every book. The key issue is to figure out
what readers bring to the party.
Fortunately, genres provide some guidelines about reader
expectations. For example, YA and NA book buyers often want fast-paced tales
with intense characters. Settings and scenes tend to be less important than
character development and a dynamic plot. On the other hand, older readers
enjoy more detail and are willing to allow a plot to develop more slowly. They are
also far more likely to expect details in a story to be well-researched and
accurate.
Another good way to learn about readers is to
review successful books by other authors. For example, a book like Fifty Shades
of Gray gives a good example of the level of expectations for one class of
readers. If I planned to write erotica, I would study the successful books in
that genre. If I planned to write literary fiction and appeal to typical readers
who follow such a style, I would study books like Forrest Gump or
Bridges of Madison County. Scene development in such books is a blueprint outlining
the needs of those readers.
General thoughts about imagery in writing:
1) Detail provides a framework for the mental picture. Make
sure the frame highlights the image you want readers to experience.
2) Like dialog, description must have a purpose. It must
advance the plot, or it is empty filler that readers will skip over.
3) Keep it simple. One of my favorite methods for creating
imagery is to give readers the basic parts of a scene, and let their imaginations
fill in the rest.
4) Paint active mental pictures:
instead of saying "it was a hot day," talk
about the dog in the shade that wouldn't bother to chase the nearby cat because
of the heat, or let the reader "smell" the decaying dead man in the
other room, rather than telling the reader about the dead guy.
5) Think outside the box. Use plot devices in scenes to advance
the story. For example, in Ghost of Lost Eagle, I needed to introduce an
impending flashflood to my main character. What better plot device than Tuck's horse that senses the coming flood
and refuses to continue up the canyon?
The imagery is palpable while he tries to coax his unwilling horse further up
the gulch. The obstinate animal made a perfect plot device to enhance tension,
advance the story and provide realism.
Painting pictures with words is our craft. Scenes make everything else
in stories possible, so they are the key to imagery. When readers are allowed
to supply essential parts of the overall vision, they feel the author has
connected with them.